cloud drunk-barret gay with redXIII?
by CowMunny
Summary: dont want to ruine the surprise


~ One day at the bar ~  
  
Cloud: hand me a nuther beer slave!  
  
Tifa: I don't think so you drunkin moron!  
( barret walks in the bar)  
  
Barret: Wut the #@*! Are you two complaining about!  
  
Aeris: Be nice to my cloudy BARRET!   
  
Barret: WUT? Who's cloudy? Can't be cloud, HA HA CLOUD HAS A GIRL FRIEND! I mean two girlfriends!  
  
Tifa: are you sayin im his girlfriend?!   
  
Barret: that's wut I said hottie.  
  
Tifa: (punches barret on to the floor) I dread the thought of going out with cloud! And don't call me hottie!  
Wait! You think im hot?  
  
Cloud: (drunkenly cloud smashes a beer bottle on the bar counter and points it at barret) YOU!  
  
Barret: yah, me. Wut else.  
  
Cloud: Yah, I got Me a telephone booth in the middle of nowhere and im calling my daughter!  
  
Barret: WUT ARE U TALKIN ABOUT YOU DON'T HAVE A DAUGHTER!  
  
(Aeris walks over to cloud trying to calm cloud down and take the bottle away from him, when she felt a tingling feeling that she thought was love so she hugs cloud and the tingling ends.)  
  
Everyone else: HA HA HA HA!  
  
(Aeris pulls away and feels something wet around her area)  
  
Barret: HA HA, its not love, it was....  
  
AERIS: SHUTTUP BARRET, sniff its not my fault I have blatter trouble.  
  
(red XIII steps into the room) Did someone say platter?  
  
Aeris: yah, platter want some? I said platter right? Yes I most certainly did!  
  
RedXIII:ok, so how is everyone, and who is that drunk guy in the corner, is that cloud?  
  
Cloud: wut?  
  
Tifa: yah its him, and I am fine, barret is in pain, and aeris has a....platter!  
  
Aeris: thanx tifa  
  
Tifa: yah right, cloudy where you get that name, when you were on the dumper?  
  
Cloud: No I sat on the Dumber and then she sat on m.....  
  
Aeris: SHUT THE #@*! UP YOU PUKEHEAD!  
  
Cloud: brrr....(cloud gets sober) woah, that was really drunk!  
  
Aeris: yah REALLY DRUNK! See guys it was all a lie!  
  
Cloud: wut was a lie?  
  
Tifa: NEVERMIND! GAWD cant this bar ever get a little less exciting!  
  
(everyone just sits there quietly for a while until tifa bursts out)  
  
Tifa: this is boring lets go to the   
  
Cloud: SEPHIROTHS HOUSE!  
  
Everyone but tifa: YAH!  
  
(tifa is really peed off, but they all go to sepheroths house.)  
  
KNOCK KNOCK  
  
They are all welcomed in by Sepheroth, Cid, Yuffie, Cait Sith, and Vincent.  
  
Cid: welcome guys we were just talking about the offer we have been made by this guy named bolo.  
  
(cloud pulls out his sword and chops bolos head off.)  
  
cid: ok.... It was probably a rip off anyway.  
  
Yuffie: Yah he was asking us to be in some game, it probably would have sukked anyway, so thanx cloud!  
  
Cloud: no prob wut was the game called?  
  
Yuffie: Final Fantasy VII or something like that.  
  
Cid: yah that's it! Now can we go to the closet to talk for a moment yuffie? wink  
  
Yuffie: all right what are we gonna talk about? And why are you holding a can of anesthesia?  
  
Cid: (murmers)you'll find out soon dear heh heh.  
  
Yuffie: wut was that you murmered?  
  
Vincent: don't do it Yuffie, don't go with him! (shoots cid in the head)  
  
Tifa: that's it I am leavin I had enough of your sex and violence! Im goin!  
  
Cloud: Tifa wait I need to talk to you in the closet before you leave!(vincent pulls out his gone and shoots cloud in the head)  
  
Vincent: oh my gosh how many of these people are here!? Huh how many?  
  
Cait Sith: come to the closet and ill tell you ok?  
  
Vincent:ok  
  
( for some reason they don't come back, but there is one rocking noise in the closet, but noone has the courage to check it out so the rest of the people go to the golden saucer. To one of the hotels)  
  
(at the hotel)  
  
Yuffie: ok now that we are away from all of those mentally disturbed psychos, we can decide who is gonna sleep where. I think me and Tifa should sleep together since we are both straight gals, well hopfully straight, and aeris can sleep beside her fake friend since she lost cloudy* and barret and and redXIII can sleep in the washroom and Sepheroth** wow.... Tifa YOU SLLEP SOMEWHERE ELSE I AM SLEEPIN with sepheroth! I mean if you don't mind?  
  
Tifa: WUT? Fine then, but sepheroth might get dissapointed when he figures out u don't swallow!  
  
Sephiroth: she doesn't? I mean so! I wasn't going to #@*! Her anyway! I mean sure she is hot and she likes wearing tight clothes but who cares.....Sh!+ wut am I sayin lets hit the bed!  
  
( everyone finally gets to sleep after a long night of multiple sex) (tifa with noone) (redXIII with barret) (Sepheroth with Yuffie) (aeris with her pillow)  
  
Aeris:(that morning) you wouldn't believe wut I did last night! It was great me and cloudy....  
  
Tifa: I am so F~ING PEED off and BUSHALUMADOD suma sum :) :( he hee hee hhee! Marshmallow.  
  
RedXIII:rips of tifas head and barrets head ( tifa cause she was nuts, and barret for bad sex)  
  
Aeris dies from sorrow, and yuffie and sepheroth live have kidsand name them link and monkey, they shot monkey because he was a monkey and sepheroth was not the father.  
oh yah redXIII was let go since it was hunting season.  
THE END  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
